WORLD NEWS

News from the rest of the world didn't seem very interesting today, especially when compared to that cute tale about that old woman's cat stuck up a tree, or the human interest story about the dangers of eating too many chicken wings. Besides which, I don't even own a passport. Who needs one? This is God's Country! Who wants to go to goddamn Palestine anyway? Not me. Hell, I don't even want to go to London, and that's right by Detroit, in Mexico.

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