Pollution "not bad for health"
Liberty Tree News Bureau
April 1st 2001 09:11am EST
LIBERTY CITY (RS) - Thomas Stewart

A government body said the recent oil spill in Liberty City harbor "would cause no lasting damage to Liberty City inhabitants, as long as they don't swim, or drink tap water." The oil spill, which environmental agencies claim is a direct result of the deregulation of the Liberty City Harbor Authority and the closing of the pilot's office, has led to a black film enveloping the harbor and occasional flash fires on the surface. The government official noted "these flash fires are harmless unless you get burnt, and are very reminiscent of the Irish phenomenon of Will-o-the-Wisp. It is a great treat for all Liberty's inhabitants to see such an ancient tradition being played out in our harbor. The oil spill will pose no immediate threat to humans unless they like swimming in oil, while any animal stupid enough to live in that harbor got what it deserved. This spill is nowhere near as serious as the pollution leak of 1988, so I don't know why people are complaining."

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