Police Helicopters To Help Fight Crime
Liberty Tree News Bureau
April 1st 2001 3:16pm EST
LIBERTY CITY (RS) - Trudy Fink

A crime suspect about to be introduced to Liberty City's latest crime fighters

Liberty City's beleaguered police department has finally gotten some help. After years of under-funding and low morale, a new fleet of helicopters has been purchased to help patrol the city streets. The choppers, each manned by a team of sharp shooters, will be used to counter the recent spate of car jacking and street crime that has hit our city.

Mayor O' Donovan noted, "The new fleet of helicopters is going to give prospective criminals the shock of their lives. Now, people are going to be watched from above as well as below. I'd like to see someone try to steal a car from someone or out run the police while under a hail of bullets from a helicopter. It's going to be apocalypse right now for all criminals out there." When asked if the millions of dollars could have been better spent on helping rehabilitate criminals or on tightening up gun control in the city, the Mayor responded, "Gun control is a typical Liberal cure-all. It doesn't work in America. Once a criminal, always a criminal, and a criminal only understands one thing." When asked about his own, well documented criminal past, O' Donovan responded, "A man can change. What's past is past. We've already dealt with this a hundred times."

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